Press
EXCLUSIVE: We Got "The Guy From Maximum Effort" To Talk About A Chess Game
And He Would Not Stop
A Totally Real Interview That Definitely Happened, Conducted By No One In Particular
INT. A SOUNDSTAGE THAT IS SUSPICIOUSLY WELL-LIT FOR A "CASUAL CHAT"
We were told we'd be sitting down with a "major Hollywood producer" to discuss
an indie chess variant called Veiled Dominion. The man who arrived
would not confirm his name, wore sunglasses indoors, and introduced himself
only as "a guy who owns a gin company and, coincidentally, also owns several
other things."
We will refer to him as The Producer,
per his lawyer's request.
TUDUM WEEKLY:
Thanks for sitting down with us. So — Netflix. Big streaming pitch. Tell us about Veiled Dominion.
THE PRODUCER:
Picture chess. Now picture chess, but the King is useless — moves like a sad little pawn, contributes nothing, everyone still protects him anyway. Sound familiar? It's basically every group chat I'm in.
TUDUM WEEKLY:
And the twist is—
THE PRODUCER:
The Queen loses the game. Not the King. The Queen. She's out here doing all the work, she's got the moves, she's got the range, and the game still ends because she got cornered. I read that mechanic and I said "this is just marriage," and everyone in the room got very quiet and asked me to leave.
TUDUM WEEKLY:
There's also a Fog Mode. Hidden information, HP combat—
THE PRODUCER:
Right, so you can't see the board anymore, which — again — marriage. But now there's a card system to help you cope with not knowing anything, which honestly should just be handed out at courthouses.
TUDUM WEEKLY:
You mentioned wanting to pitch this to Netflix in a specific way. Not a Bandersnatch thing.
THE PRODUCER:
God, no. Bandersnatch is "make a choice, get a different sad ending." We're doing Kaleidoscope. You can start anywhere — the game, the movie, some guy's Wattpad account from 2019 — and it all folds into the same story. It's less "choose your own adventure" and more "your adventure was always the same, you just walked in through a different door, like a Cheesecake Factory."
TUDUM WEEKLY:
Any comparable's? For the deck?
THE PRODUCER:
The Nines. Great movie. Criminally under-watched, much like my early filmography, and I say that with the confidence of a man who has seen his own Rotten Tomatoes page and made peace with several entries on it.
TUDUM WEEKLY:
Last question. Why does the King get to just... exist, contributing nothing, and everyone still fights to protect him?
THE PRODUCER:
(long pause, stares directly into camera) ...I'm going to go ahead and end the interview here.
Veiled Dominion is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or aware of the existence of
Maximum Effort, Aviation Gin, Mint Mobile, or any producer who may or may not have
wandered in off the street for this piece. Duet is live now. The Producer's lawyer
has asked us to clarify he was never here.